Raise your hand if you find dating more frustrating than fulfilling. If you’re raising your hand, you’re not alone. In fact, I have clients and friends alike that have given up on dating altogether because it’s that draining for them!
Yes, I will admit that navigating the dating scene today is like entering a minefield. If dating drains your energy more than it does give you energy, you’re doing it wrong. Here are 3 ways to make dating suck a little less.
Swipe Mindfully I advise my clients to swipe mindFULLY, not mindLESSLY. Swiping mindlessly looks like: ~you’re sitting on the toilet, bored, and need to pass some time so you open up Tinder and swipe on 30 people. ~you’re at a bar and use getting tipsy as an excuse to swipe on the apps. ~you feel lonely, so you open up the app. You talk to anyone who gives you attention in that moment. Swiping mindfully looks like: Setting aside 5-10 minutes a day to swipe on men. That’s IT. When time’s up, put the phone down and don’t look at it again until tomorrow. This strategy prevents dating app burnout.
Schedule dating into your calendar like you do anything else important. The #1 complaint I hear most from single people? “I don’t have time to date.” This is false. Most people have the time to date! What they should be saying instead is:“I have poor time management skills.” My best recommendation is to schedule dating into your calendar, the same way you do work projects and important deadlines. You could go one date a week, which doesn’t take more than 2-3 hours! By scheduling it in, you’re committing to yourself and your dating life. (Remember: Work shouldn’t be your whole life!)
Date "in flow" Yoga teaches us not to force postures or movements that don’t feel good in our body. The same philosophy can be applied to dating: If dating someone causes you more anxiety than happiness, cut the cord. Anxiety in the body manifests as a rapid heart rate, shortness of breath, racing thoughts, upset and/or sleeplessness. Learn to read the signals your body is giving you and literally only date in a way that makes you feel good. Flow, don’t force. Release assumptions and expectations, and date in flow.